Wrongly Lovely? Part 10 YURI

The face was clear in her mind's eye, distant but pretty; serious yet somehow carefree. A contradiction of a person who made no sense. Why love through deception? Why not the truth? Why?

The moments came back, flush and bright. The heat, the touch, all of it, then the shock, a dousing bucket on a girl burning up with crazed passion. It still seemed unreal. An entire person had been fabricated for her, made to be something Alex, a girl, could not. Or at least, that seemed to be the reasoning behind it… unless Alex was "a boy in the body of a girl" or whatever it was.

Amy's brow furrowed. But there wasn't anything that indicated it, no—

"Your thirty page essay is due next Friday…." Amy shook her head, realizing she had spaced out, before scribbling the dates down. She'd missed what the essay was to be about, but Alex could tell her later. Alex. That weirdo.  

~*~*~

Amy glanced at the lunch. She stuck her tongue out. Tuna sandwich. Cafeteria style. Gourmet chefs or not, tuna sandwich sucked. But long, slow lines sucked even more and the express line served a single thing. Tuna sandwich

"Blech," she murmured as she took the tray. Tuna sandwich.

Amy blinked. Where would Alex be today? It was a Monday, so she'd be, she'd be…. Amy blinked, the scene coming back to her like a nightmare. Hands gripped her together, forceful and cruel. The face, the eyes, so far gone and lost.

Amy froze, unable to save herself from the replay, the gut wrenching fear. What would have happened, had Hugh not been distracted? Her hand crawled against her chest where she poked a bruise. At least Hugh hadn't hit her anywhere a good sweater couldn't cover. She glanced down, remembering whose wardrobe she had pulled the sweater and jeans from.   

"Amy!"

Amy turned, alarmed as her deep thoughts were disturbed. Alex waved at her, and Amy realized, embarrassed, that she had walked right past her. Alex sat on one of the lunch tables outside, munching a small salad, a beautiful slice of lasagna lying next to it. Amy could only gaze, enraptured.

Alex noticed the expression and smiled, amused, as she saw the sandwich. Tuna

She shrugged.

Amy's bottom lip quivered desperately and Alex couldn't help put chuckle. "Okay, okay. Trade?"

"Yes! Please! Thank you, thank you!"

Alex grinned as she watched Amy wolf the lasagna down, using the fork and knife to deadly effect. Amy wiped her mouth daintily with a paper napkin, before uncapping a bottle of water and taking a sip. Alex finished her salad, taking small, thoughtful bites out of Amy's sandwich as she looked at Amy, trying to pinpoint what made her so attractive.

Amy's head turned and she noticed the gaze. She stared right back so that their eyes locked. Their smiles dropped, replaced with a face of intense concentration.

"Staring contest begin!" Amy hissed.

They stared.

And stared.

Off in the distance, the sound of a bird's chirp rang through the air. Amy forced herself to maintain eye contact. Alex was good, yes, but the last time she'd lost had been nine months ago. Things change in nine months….

Amy's eyes burned, but still she maintained contact, sure Alex was wavering. From the corner of her eyes, she saw students walking away.  

"Alex."

Alex's gaze only intensified.

"Class!"

Unable to continue, Amy looked away, blinking rapidly, her eyes stinging.

Alex smirked.

"I'll win someday!" Amy declared with mock anger and determination. "Just you wait!"

And then they departed, walking side by side to the class they both shared. We're such weirdos...

Abruptly, Amy's thoughts returned to the previous night. Alex might be a sicko, but she sure was good at hiding it, Amy decided.

~*~*~

Alex looked back, realizing Amy was still with her. She didn't ask as she opened the apartment's door, just glad she and Amy could still hang out like this. Amy dropped her textbooks by the door, racing to Alex's room, where she threw herself onto the bed. She lay there, thinking.

Alex was a disgusting person--there was no mistake in that. Six months she had fooled her, tricked her; played her for a fool. But why couldn't she leave? It would be easy, walk out, after all Alex had done, she wouldn't even need to justify it. But something about that way she looked at Amy made her feel like she was the only one Alex saw, like she was the center of Alex's world, her heart. It was a weird, tingly feeling that made her wonder how much power she had over Alex.

Thinking back, why would Alex even bother with deception and the like? If she had wanted, she could have done what Hugh had done. And she would have probably been smarter about
it-- drugged her before binding and gagging her, then doing whatever it was she wanted to do.

Amy buried her head against Alex's pillow, breathing in her scent, deep and not unpleasantly musky. Despite their long friendship, it seemed Amy really knew little about the person named Alexandra, at least not enough to anticipate such lies.

Alex sat on the ground next to her, and Amy's memory was suddenly jolted, a night more than half a year ago coming back to her. In the fuzzy mist of drink, she had made the first move, took Alex's lips herself.

Amy jolted, realizing she herself had initiated all physical contact between them. Then she blushed, remembering what she had done and how it had felt. She rubbed her fingers together, the heat of it making her burn an even deeper crimson.

Alex noticed this as she turned a page of her calculus textbook. She marveled at how the color stained Amy's face, gave her a look of flushed innocence contrasting so much with her unsteady, unstable flush of drunkenness.

A thin tendril of saliva dripped out of her mouth as she imagined what she would do if she and Amy where girlfriends. She tried to force the thoughts back and concentrate on studying, but matrices had nothing on Amy--not now, not in a million years.

The guilt was gone now, replaced with confusion. How did she feel about it? About Alex? Now that she remembered, perhaps it was she who was the disturbed one, the wrong one, the one whom all blame should fall on.

Blame. She had to know.

"Alex…."

She watched as Alex seemed to snap out of some daydream, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her shirt.   

"About Hugh. Was-was it my fault?"

Alex flinched, before looking her in the eye so Amy could see she meant what she said.

"No. It's yours to do whatever you want with. It's just his fault for being such a—a…." Alex paused, unable to find the word for him.

"Thanks," Amy said, smiling weakly.

"Look," Alex said as she sat down next to Amy. "I don't mean to be corny, but I care about you, a lot. If you ever need anything, a shoulder to lean on, anything, just call on me and I'll be there."

After she said that, she squeezed Amy tightly. Alex wasn't going to give up, she still loved Amy, more than ever in fact, but she realized had no right interfering like she had before. I was wrong and deceitful, but the only way she could imagine the impossibility working out. So it was impossible, she admitted. But she wouldn't give up. As long as she had breath she could love the one love of her life.

"Heyyyyyy… can I 'call on you' right now?"

Alex blinked. "Sure."

"What's the science research paper on again?"

"You goof!" Alex crossed her arms, turning away. "No way. You should have listened in class."

"Whaaaaaaat?!"

Alex shook her head, unable to hide a slight smile. How her promise was already being abused….

"If you won't tell me, then I guess I'll just have to make you!"

Alex didn't even have a chance to cry out, before she was pinned down. A single arm immobilized her as another slipped to her armpit.

"Nooooooo!" Alex cried, her laughter uncontrollable. "Stop! Stop it! Now! You. Know. I. Can't…" she managed between helpless gasps, before finally breaking, thrashing helplessly under Amy's ruthless ministering.

Amy squealed delightedly, cackling with mock evil as Alex finally put her hands up.

"I surrender, please! I'll tell you everything!"

By then, Amy was almost atop Alex, and the situation would have been superbly awkward if not for the sheer habit of it all.

Alex opened her mouth to speak, seconds after an impulse flashed through Amy's mind.

"The p—"

"Alex."

Alex stopped, turning to look back at Amy.

Amy pursed her lips. Once she said those words, there'd be no going back. Her chest ached, and she had to say it.

"Kiss me. Please."

Alex's eyes widened and she wondered if she were dreaming. Should she pinch herself? Check her pulse? Maybe check her temperature?

Her head shook and she leaned towards Amy quickly. Without asking for confirmation that she had heard correct, she swooped in, their lips brushing. It was short, and sweet, a peck that warmed Amy from her head to her toes.

"Ahhhhhhh," Amy murmured, lying back.   

"Why?" Alex asked.

"It's not so different. Kissing a girl." Amy grinned cheekily, despite her face glowing like a light bulb. "I like it."

"Hmmmhmm," Alex replied as she got back to her textbook, trying to hide her scarlet face behind it. Maybe it wasn't so impossible….

~*~*~

Amy left around nine, after helping her cook a dinner for two they promptly ate.

Alex sat down again, eyes staring at the textbook, but mind somewhere else entirely. Christmas was coming soon, that busy season where, once upon a time, a little girl was juggled between two families, forced to do the holidays twice, neither time truly fulfilling. On the other hand, two Christmases meant almost twice the presents, not such a bad thing, though she'd rather have had no presents if it meant Mom and Dad would stay together.

Those days made her sad, so she pushed thoughts away; shoving them back into the drawer marked "Dismal Childhood". Back to Amy, and a present. What would she get for her?

A gift card? But they were so impersonal; "I don't know what you like so take this and get it yourself."  Jewelry? Perhaps, but Alex had gotten Amy that last year, not to mention it was expensive….

So what do I get her?  

Alex landed soundlessly on the bed, save the creaking of mattress springs. Something soft rubbed against her bare leg, and she looked down, a familiar red scarf sparking her imagination.

She fist pumped, unable to wait for Amy's reaction.

~*~*~

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock; jingle around the—"

Amy rubbed her eyes sleepily, wondering why her alarm clock was playing Christmas music. It was tuned to a soft rock station, not Oh wait…. She got out of bed, searching through the small pile of clothes and other assorted objects at the foot of her bed to find what she looked for.

She unlocked the phone before checking the date—December 21. She put a hand to her mouth. How had she forgotten? And for so long. She shook her head. No time to wonder!

She took a deep breath; preparation for what lay ahead, mentally briefing herself for the people on her list. Suddenly, she remembered, and walked to her bed, pulling a CD out. Hugh's favorite band….

The disc made a satisfying crack as she snapped it, then another and another. She held the quartered CD, glancing briefly at the printed song titles. She took a deep breath, before tossing it away. The pillow was in her grip before she even thought about it, and there she lay, clinging tightly to the thing as she curled, fetal-style, upon her bed, eyes closed.

Abruptly, she realized she hadn't gotten wasted yet. Now that she thought about it, it seemed weird. It had always been a tradition of hers, after a big break-up go to a bar with Alex, get wasted, crash at Alex's, get nursed out of the sorrow by Alex, get reassured by Alex…. Alex.

At that point she didn't even wonder if it was wrong or right, or any trivialities like that. Alex.

Then: Oh shit. She probably got me something epic, and, and, and…. Oh I'm so fucked…

She was up and out ten minutes later, wearing a combination that would have made her feel faint had she paused long enough to realize how badly she clashed.

~*~*~

Alex hummed as the needles clicked, the bright threads blending and matching. First this knot, then that one, then this, then—"Dammit!"

Alex picked at the poorly placed knot, sucking in a sharp breath as she realized how bad it was. She poked and prodded it until it loosened before she pulled it apart slowly, all the while exhaling in relief. She stopped to look at what she had already made, running a hand through the material, smiling.

All the other presents were accounted for, just this last one, for Amy.

~*~*~

Amy put the bags down with a sigh. At last. Finished. All done. She took her shoes off, before stepping inside.

"Wah!" she gasped, as she felt moisture beneath her feet, her sock suddenly soaked. She looked down, before flinging a curse. Of all times, why so close to Christmas?

~*~*~

"I am so sorry, miss. We've had a mass pipe failure. Please remain calm; the plumber will be there as soon as he can be."

Amy hung up with a thank you, before shaking her head. Then she started moving her things, flinging clothes onto her small desk. She glanced at the path of the water, realizing her roommate would need to know.  

She flipped through her contacts before finally finding the number. She called, surprised as Lola picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lola."

"Um. Uh. Who is this?"

"It's me, Amy."

"Oh, haha… you just sound so different on the phone, you know? What's up roomy?"

"Bad news—there's been a 'mass pipe failure' at the apartment."

"Oh no."

"Yeah… the apartment's basically filling up with water. Get over here as soon as you can; your stuff's getting wet."

"Right… can you help get my laptop…? I think I might have left it—"

By then Amy was already acting; by the time she had finished, Amy had scooped the electronic up, placing it on Lola's bed.

"Done."

"Thanks. I'm coming!"

She hung up, and Amy went back to moving, not even bothering to close the door of Lola's room.

She was almost down by the time Lola arrived. Together, they secured everything.

"You think they'll get everything fixed by the Christmas?" Lola asked as she put her laundry basket onto a chair.

"I don't know. But then where will we stay in the mean time? Since we probably won't be able stay here since they have to fix the pipes, right?"

Lola shrugged.

There was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Amy said, walking barefoot to the door.

It was the plumber. They let him in, and he examined the damage, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry ladies, but this is one of the worst parts of pipe damage I've seen yet. I doubt you'll be able to move back in anytime soon."

They nodded.

"Go downstairs and talk to the Manager--he's giving out spare apartments you can stay at in the mean time."

The girls nodded as the plumber left, thanking him as he did.

"Damn pipes. Couldn't they have installed them right the first time?" muttered the plumber as he waled to the source of water.

~*~*~

"I am so sorry. We only have space for one more person, unless you'd like to share an apartment with four more people."

Lola looked at Amy, unsure.

Amy shook her head. "You take it Lola--I can crash at Alex's."

Lola smiled, relieved. "Thanks."

The manager led Lola away, telling Amy the apartment would be fixed by January the third, after apologizing profusely, again.

Amy hefted her backpack, full of clothes and other vital belongings, before beginning the short walk to Alex's. It'd be like when she was younger: a sleepover.

~*~*~

Alex had just finished wrapping her present for Amy, when the door bell rang. Just in case, she shoved the wrapped package under her bed, before going to the door.
A rosy-cheeked Amy greeted her at the door, and Alex let her in.

"Brrrrr," Amy chattered as she put her backpack down.

Amy sat down on one of the couches, as Alex went to the kitchen, deciding she would make some hot chocolate for them.

"So what brings you over?" she asked, filling the old kettle with water, flipping the switched that turned it on.

Amy explained the trouble with the pipes as Alex laid two mugs out, before trying to remember if the hot chocolate mix went in before the water or after it.

"…so I was wondering, you mind if crash at your place until they get the apartment fixed?"

"Sure," Alex said as she stirred the powder and water together, wishing she had though to buy milk. Hot chocolate tastes better with milk.

"Would you like a cup of hot chocolate?"

"Sure."

Amy hung her jacket and took off a glove, before clasping the hot cup in her gloved hand, inhaling its heat and pleasurable aroma. She shivered happily. Nothing like something hot on a cold winter day.

~*~*~

Dinner consisted of canned soup because none of them felt like cooking.

Amy watched as Alex took a blanket to the couch. "You know, we could just share your bed."

Alex looked away, unable to suppress the burst of crimson across her face. "No-no, it-it's okay, I don't mind," Amy smiled, finding a fluster Alex to be surprisingly cute.

The truth was, though Alex longed to share a bed with Amy, listen to her soft, sleeping breaths, she was hesitant to tempt herself. She had no idea what their relationship had become, but whatever it was, she didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize it. In the end, she just couldn't trust her treacherous heart.

Amy bid Alex good night, before slipping into her bed, tired from the long day and brutal last-minute Christmas shopping lines.

Alex, on the other hand, did not sleep so early, instead she sat cross legged on the couch, thinking.

~*~*~

The smell drifted through the air, lazily curling and twisting before finally finding its way to Alex. The smell did more than a thousand alarm clocks blaring in unison.
Alex shot up. Bacon

"Morning," Amy said as she flipped a piece, the sizzle music to Alex's ears.

Alex padded to the kitchen, to watch Amy's art.

Amy turned, noticing Alex. She smiled cheerfully, before gesturing to two plates, ladled with food. She crowned them with bacon, before taking them to the dining table.

"Wow… Never knew you cooked…" Alex breathed.

Amy beamed, pleased. "When I'm not crying my eyes out, I do make some mean French toast."

Alex blinked, suddenly aware that the food had magically appeared. "Where'd you get it from?"

Amy smiled. "I bought it. It's the least I can do."

A mountain was lifted off Alex's chest. The grocery trip she had been procrastinating, at last, done! And then: dismay. Alex realized only breakfast items had been bought.

She started to mope, before remembering the food. She could go grocery shopping later. The food, the food….

~*~*~

"Did you hear about the Christmas party?"

"Huh? Oh, you mean…"

Alex padded to her room, quickly pulling a paper out of her "Activities" folder.

It was a bright red paper lettered in white and green. A time, date, and location, as well as an almost racy picture.

"Yeah, that one. Want to go?"

"Not really…"

"C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Yeah, fun for you. I still have to carry your drunk ass home."

"Is carrying me in your arms such a bad thing?"

Alex looked away, her face burning.

~*~*~

At last, it was Christmas Eve, the day of the party. Alex glanced around idly as Amy looked at herself in the mirror; she had been making "finishing touches" for the past fifteen minutes. As for Alex herself, a simple jacket and jeans would suffice.

~*~*~

The music pounded, loud and wild. Everywhere, people danced, laughing as if they had not a care in the world. In a way that was true; the drunk care not for the world. All around the people moved, grinding chaotically in some areas, while in others, couples slow danced.

Alex glanced at the slow dance area briefly, longingly, before following a thirsty Amy through a milling crowd.

She found her easily, perched on a stool, sipping a cup of amber liquid, chatting with a friend. Amy noticed her and waved her over, motioning to the bartender for a drink. He slid Alex a glass as she sat down next to Amy. She paused, about to refuse. Oh, fuck it she thought, taking a sip. It'd been a while since she'd drank, and though she wasn't particularly fond of it, it was a night of celebration. Might as well have a drink or two to loosen up. Besides, they had walked.

Alex blinked as some guy leaned over to Amy. "Hey, looking good there—"

Before he could finish, Amy turned to him, face expressionless. "Sorry, not interested."

The guy backed off. "Okay… jeez."

Amy's friend turned to watch him go, turning back to ask with surprise in her voice, "He wasn't that bad was he? And hey, didn't you and Hugh break up? So—"

Amy took another sip, staring straight ahead. "Fuck boys."

The friend nodded."Bad break up, huh?"

Amy gave a quick nod, before beckoning to Alex. "Let's go."

By then, Alex's reservations had loosened a bit. She slapped Amy on the back, before walking up alongside her, a grin on her face. "Let's go!"

They meshed into the crowd, arms waving to the beat, pelvises thrusting, not a care or a thought.

~*~*~

Around 11:30 or so, having grown tired, they departed, amidst friendly boos for leaving "early".  

They walked along the road on the sidewalk, watching people from all over come to and fro.

Alex laughed and Amy laughed. Though they weren't completely sober they weren't drunk either.
   
They quieted a bit as they entered the lobby, though most people were out partying, some people were sleeping.

~*~*~

The apartment door opened silently, and Alex was glad she wouldn't have to smother Amy like all the other late night returns home.

As they entered the house, Amy finally screwed her courage to the sticking point, taking a deep breath in preparation. On purpose she had drunk little that night, she would need all her wits about her for what was to come.

"Alex. I have something to tell you."

Her stay with Alex, had finally convinced her, pushed all weakness and hesitation away. She had a feeling about this, one she'd never, never, never felt before. She hadn't been aware of it at first; though as she looked back it made sense. Among the other wonders drink did to her, it released inhibitions. And what had her inhibition been?

Alex turned, her smile faltering as she noticed the serious tone.

"Yes?" she asked simply.

"I—"

It was now or never. It was time to act upon those feelings: to make her fantasy into reality.

"—love you."

Alex looked at her questioningly.

"More than a friend," she added.

Alex still seemed unable to believe the words.

Though she knew how sappy she would sound, Amy continued. "For a while know, I've know it. At first I thought it was sisterly love."

Amy ran a hand through her hair nervously.

"But sisters don't want to make out with each other…."

~*~*~

When Alex had heard that tone she'd been scared.

When the words continued, she thought she was dreaming. She ignored the look as she pinched herself, once, twice.

Amy looked at her pleadingly, unable to continue. She had always been on the receiving side of pledges of affection.

Alex's eyes glittered, prodding Amy on.

"Will you be mine?"

"Yes," Alex whispered.

They both moved in at the same time, meeting halfway, lip to lip; heart to heart. They moved like they were drunk, staggering back and forth, before finally collapsing on the couch, Amy under Alex. Their tongues sparred, as their hands worked desperately, trying to pull their souls together.

Alex ran a hand through Amy's long, luxurious hair, as Amy caressed her, hand sending a thunderstorm through her body.

Their mouths broke apart to take quick breaths, though they were still tangled together. Wordlessly, Amy tugged at Alex's shirt until it came free. She rolled Alex over so that she now lay against the couch, pinned by Amy's raging heart.

The kisses continued, trailing on in a way that, despite being familiar, was still utterly mind-crushing to Alex.

Through a din of incoherent thoughts, Alex managed to contemplate the perfectness of this moment, the moment she had given up on.  Though that kissed shared days ago had been something, it just seemed impossible it could become this. But it was happening,

Alex reached up, pulling at Amy's dress's straps, almost done when….

The sound of footsteps hadn't been heard by Alex, nor had the jingle of keys. But the sound of the door creaking stopped her dead. Amy didn't notice until she heard a low whistle.

"Wow, Alex. Didn't know you were into girls."